Stas wrote: BootyliciousJosh wrote:
Stas wrote:What a selfish selfish man. So much pain he has left behind for people to deal with, the ones who loved and cared for him. 6 children. What makes people do these things? I wonder what goes through their minds - most likely desperation...
It is selfish but sometimes that's the only "way out" to some people.
Throughout high school (and middle school), I had suicidal thoughts a lot. I cut myself a few times because of bullying. I've been teased and called every gay name that comes to mind since I was 7 (1992/1993 mind you) from kids who claimed to be my friends and even their siblings whom I barely knew. I never told anyone because I didn't want the conflict. I made myself suffer - which was my own fault. What made me not take action was when my mom told me about a boy she knew in school who was gay and when word got out, some boys in school raped him. That scared the shit outta me, not sure why she told me that to begin with. And when I finally did tell someone about it, nothing got done really. I'm just grateful it never escalated to fights or getting my ass beaten.
No one truly knows whats going through that person's mind, I guess unless you've kinda experienced it. I've read countless comments about called him selfish and a coward on social media and it truly makes me so angry. No one has the right to judge that person because of what they were going through. You can only pretend to be happy for so long before something really throws you into the deep end.
And I'm not attacking you, Stas by what you said. I'm really not. x
Oh Josh, it wasn't my point. We all have shit to deal with, we all know someone who has a much worse life and things to deal with than we do (at least I know), but they deal with them no matter how terrible it gets. That's how you deal with things. It's life. I was bullied in school for nearly a decade, but I stood up for myself although I was beaten up twice in the end. And I am not even going to mention everything that has happened during last 18 years. The thing is... You get up, dust yourself off and move on. No matter how harsh it sounds, this is what we have to do if we want to survive in this world. You have bad and good days, sometimes more of the others than the other ones. I am not calling anybody a coward, but it was a selfish thing to do...
I lost a very, very dear friend to suicide almost 2 years ago. None of his friends or family knew anything was wrong with him. He suffered in total silence and his death was an absolute tragedy for his friends and family and our community. He was very much loved by many.
Mental illness is just that - an illness. Without treatment it can cause death. When you're mentally ill, you don't think things through properly. You're not able to think of happy things, or have normal empathy. Your brain and mentality isn't acting normal because of the illness. Sometimes this can cause unbearable emotional pain. This is why people kill themselves- the pain is so terrible that all they can think is ending their own lives to stop it. They aren't able to convince themselves to get help or they think that their problem is beyond help.
You're probably not mentally ill so you're able to reason and find things in life that keep you happy or that make you feel better when you're not (the "dust off and try again" attitude). When that thing in your brain is turned off or deterred because of illness, it doesn't work properly and can, ultimately, lead to completion of suicide or attempts.
I spent a long time very angry at my friend for putting us through all that pain. But now I see that he was sick and that he suffered in silence. That's what I'm angry about now - that my dear friend suffered and we knew nothing. How awful of a mindset that must have been for him. If only we could have known and helped him and led him down the path to getting better.
All I can do now is try to make sure that no one I know ever suffers in silence like that. I've opened my doors to the people I care about who need help.
I certainly do not wish this on anyone, but one day you might find yourself being approached by a friend who's asking for help, or you may find that they need help. Just remember that it's a illness, not a choice. It's hard to understand because you can't see the effects of the illness - they're all in the mind. I hope you can find a way to see past what you see and that sometimes it's a lot more difficult than just saying "that's life, move on."
Try not to judge people who kill themselves. They would have had to have been in a lot of pain to get so far as to think the only way to stop suffering would be to end their own life (and see that as their only option). Be thankful that you can see options and ways out for you if things get dark in your mind.